No Weston. There wasn't a 7 hump wump in the nativity. 

We introduced Weston to the movie "elf" this Christmas. Today while in the shower we hear Weston dining at the top of his lungs "I'M SINGING!!! I'M STANDING IN THE SHOWER AND I'M SINGING!!!"

Dallin: I'm all out of germ water. 

Me: germ water?!? What is germ water?

Dallin: it's what come out of your nose.  

Me: snot?

Dallin: yes. Snot is germ water. 

Dallin: (talking about the Christmas tree) the lights are kind of freaking me out. So we should turn it off. 

Weston is at a birthday party where they are decorating cup cakes. One younger child says, "I made a rainbow" to which Weston replied, "that's not the right color sequence for a rainbow". 

Dallin is learning how frustrating it is to try to clean when Levi is around. I asked him to put all the train toys in the bucket. Levi goes and sits in the bucket. So I tell him to put the shoes on the shoes rack. Levi climbs out of the bucket and starts pulling the shoes off the shoe rack. 

Playing on the toy kitchen-

Mom: will you make me some soup?

Dallin: no, we don't have any bowls. 

Mom: will you make me some cake?

Dallin: no, we don't have any plates. 

Mom: I'll just hold it in my hand. 

Dallin: then you will get all sticky. 

Mom: I'll wash off in the sink. 

Dallin: oh, that's a good idea. 

Mom: so you'll make me some cake?

Dallin: no, it's not your birthday. 

The 4-year-old just told me to go to time out. Um.. Yes, please. 

Dallins first week in preschool he comes home with "Dylan" on the back of his work. 

Me: dallin, do they call you Dylan at school?

Dallin: yes. 

Me: You need to tell them that your name is Dallin!

Dallin: No, I like Dylan. 

Dallin: what do you want for your birthday?

Me: a back rub. 

Dallin: we already have a bathtub!

Dallin: I wish we were a pirate family. 

Weston: I wish we were a normal family. 

This experience just happened with dallin but it is no different from countless experiences with Weston. 

Dallin: Where is it?

Me: Right in front of you. 

Dallin: *looks to the left*

Me: In front of you. 

Dallin: Where?

Me: Crawl forward. 

Your hand is touching it!!!

Weston brought home some schoolwork. The directions were to add an adjective. 

First sentence:

I see a frog.

Weston's sentence:

I see a big frog. 

Second sentence:

The eagle is in the sky. 

Weston's sentence:

The 3 headed eagle is in the blue sky. 

Dallin, talking to himself in an imaginary phone:

Hello??

DANGIT!! 

No one's home. 

While decorating daddy's cake:

Me: I'm not sure if this is going to work...
Dallin: It's working! Work it, mama, work it!

I have such politely defiant children. 

Dad: please put your shoes away. 

Dallin: No, thank you. 

Dallin gave a me very heart-felt "thank you!" for washing his favorite green lantern underwear. 

Me: Weston, would you like to learn to play an instrument some day?

Weston: Well, I already know how to play the drums... And the tuba. 

Me: the tuba, huh? 

Weston: yea, all you do is blow in it! 

Me: Dallin! Don't put your feet on Levi!!

Dallin: I was just going to step on him softly. 

Mike and Weston are playing mad libs. 

Mike: I need an adjective. That's a word that describes someone or something. Think of something that describes Dallin. 

Weston: how about "needs a new brain". 

Weston, discussing the super powers his stuffed animals posess, informed us that Droopy Neck (the stuffed giraffe) can "shoot bullets out of his horns. 

Weston: Mommy, I understand why we have fingers but why do we have toes?

Dallin: *fart* I made my poop stink! 

We took the boys bowling. Mike got a strike. We showed dallin the screen with the flashing X. Dallin says "Daddy you are x-ey". 

Weston is looking at a picture of the Earth. 

Me: Weston, if the earth is round, why aren't we falling off??

Weston: gravity. 

While watching me nurse Levi, Dallin pulls up his shirt and pinches his nipple and says, "I have little feeders".

Smoothies

Weston's doctor says he is a little bit anemic. So I decided to make him one of those smoothies with spinach in it.

Day 1:
Smoothie: ice, blueberries, pineapple, banana, spinach, and cranberry juice.
Verdict: Delicious! Mom, dad and Dallin drink it up. Weston hates it. He sits in front of it for hours before finally getting Dallin to take it outside and dump it for him.

Day 2:
Smoothie: ice, blueberries, pineapple, spinach and lemonade (because weston loves lemonade).
Verdict: Delicious! Even better than before. Mom Dad and Dallin drink it up.
Weston sits in front of it for a couple of hours. I'm sick of the power struggle. I start threatening to take away the computer if he doesn't drink it. He still refuses. I take away the computer for a week and still he won't budge. So finally I tell him that if he doesn't drink it, I'm going to dump it on his head.

The screaming is over. The battle is done. Weston is showered. Hopefully, he won't question whether or not I will follow through with my threats. Also, I highly recommend this type of discipline. It's kind of fun and very therapeutic for mommy.

D

Walking around Toys R Us, Weston hops in the driver seat of one of those 4-wheeler cars. Dallin comes around the passenger side and gets in saying "I wanna be the daddy!"

W

Weston, are you a stinker?
Weston: No, I took a bath on Saturday.

Dallin uses the phrase "this day" instead of "today".

Can I go to my friends' house this day.
What's for lunch this day?
Are we going to the gym this day?

Weston: There are 2 kinds of juice boxes. One that has juice in it and one that plays music.

I asked Dallin to call daddy for dinner. He didn't so I went to the stairs and called Mike for dinner. Dallin screams that he wanted to do it and when Mike rounded the corner to come up stairs, Dallin threw a fit and made him go back. He then composed himself and kindly called, "Daddy, it's time for dinner".

Dallin:
I need you to tell the ouchies to stop ouching me!

Weston: I want to read the story about the Aliens because MOST aliens are mean.
Mom: Oh really, you've met lots of aliens and found most of them to be mean?
Weston: Yes! Especially cat aliens, they shoot fur balls!

Last Sunday Mike had a talk with Weston about not playing with his LeapPad on Sunday.  This Sunday Mike was playing a game on his phone. Weston walks over and says, "Daddy, what does this game teach you about Jesus?"
Mike promptly put it away.

Mom: Weston seems to think he is skilled in the art of manipulation.
Dad: It's not manipulation, he's playing Jedi mind tricks on us.
(while waving his hand in front of me)
"My bedroom is not messy."
"I'm glad we are going to the park now."
"I think you mean yes."

Another speech quirk of Dallin.  The "trash can" is a "cash can".

Me: Even after a hellish night with Levi, one look into his eyes in the morning and all is forgotten.
Mike: I'm still holding a grudge.