Weston: I dreamed last night that I got both coal and toys in my stocking because I was both good and bad. 

I just found Levi covered in $10 worth of forever stamps. "Look mom! Stickers!"

Dallin: Isn't poop a fun word?!?!

Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. 

Mike: That's a great nose, Levi. Where did you get that nose?

Levi: From Target. 

Weston to other 3rd grade boy: "Yoda teaches us that size doesn't matter"

Levi: ma, it's not nap time. 

Me: What time is it?

Levi: it's 31 a'clock

Words of wisdom from Levi:

Trees don't eat donuts. 

This house can't fly. 

We don't eat cars. That would be yucky. 

We don't drive on the trees. 

Darth Vader is like a cat. 

Mom! Guess what the hearts on this plane make me think of?? And then he runs and gives me a big hug. 

Mike: I've got the theme song to Bourne Identity stuck in my head. 

Levi: ME TOO!

At the Physical Therapist 

PT: Dallin, are you a good big brother?

Dallin: Yes. 

PT: Do you teach your brother new words?

Dallin: Yes. 

PT: What words do you teach him?

Dallin: Uncle. 

PT: What's an uncle?

Dallin: It's when you are all done wrestling. 

Levi: mama?

Mom: yes, sweetheart?

Levi: I'm Levi! 

Levi: Tank-ooo mama

Mom: You're welcome. 

Levi: no, YOU'RE welcome!

Mom: no, YOU'RE welcome!

Levi: I'm welcome???

Mom: what do you want to eat for dinner when we go camping?

Weston: Hotdogs!

Mom: You hate hotdogs. 

Weston: not "camping hotdogs"! "Camping hotdogs" are great! 

W: Mom, Levi is out of bed. 

Me: Coming. 

Levi: NO I DO IT!

(Goes back in room and closes the door)

Dallin is going through a phase where he replaces the word "yesterday" with "last year". 

Mom: Did you draw on my wall with marker?

Dallin: Oh that was just last year. 

Levi repeats the last word or 2 you say back to you in the form of a question. For example-

Mike: Levi, don't throw toys!

Levi: Throw toys?

Weston: dad, do that thing you were doing. 

Mike: Do that thing I was doing???

Mike, not knowing what on earth he is talking about, starts dancing all crazy. So I join in and start dancing. Then weston starts dancing and singing, "do that thing you were doing". 

Dallin (speaking to a crowd of adults): Sometimes my butt itches and I scratch it. 

Dallin: These socks are cool because you can still see them when your shoes are on!!

Levi at dollar store: Balloon! I want it!

Levi in the car: Moon! I want it!

Mike: dallin, do you want to play some ping pong with me?

Dallin: sure, I might be awesome it at. 

Listening to kidz bop-

Weston: these Chipmonks sure are good singers... Usually Chipmonks don't sing. 

Mom, what does "for pete's sake" mean?
Me: I means I've asked you to put your shoes on 4 times and here you are sitting on the floor playing with trains!

When we play rock-paper-scissors, I put my hands on Weston's head and pretend to read his mind so I know how to beat him. Then Dallin wanted me to read his mind so I put my fingers on his head and said "You want to eat cookies!" Then Levi came running over and put my hands on his head and said "cookies!".  I said, "Levi thinks Elsa is pretty" and Levi responded, "LET IT GO! LET IT GO!"

Dallin keeps asking questions from mid-conversation in his mind. Out of nowhere he says "what's that guys' name again?" Or "who's the guy next to that?" 

Dallin: Mom, I put Wolverine in your bed because he is your favorite. 

Overheard-

Weston: sometimes I daydream that there is an elevator in my closet that goes down to the earth's core. I have a secret lab there for making inventions no one else has thought of. 

The 2 year old got down from the table, tossed his plate in the sink, and announced "all done"! 

Just when you thought you were in charge of this household. :/

"Put that down! French toast is not finger food!"

"Don't shake the ketchup bottle after the lid is off"

"Get your hand out of your water cup!"

All in one meal!

Dallin did something wrong and mike sent him to his room. Levi was not happy about it. He climbed into Mike's lap, scowled at him, and said "D!" (His word for Dallin) 

I told dallin he could not go outside and play in the street. As my punishment for making him mad, he locked me out of my bedroom. 

By the time I discovered it, he cheerfully told me that he was "not mad at me anymore" and I could just "pop the door open or sleep on the couch"! 

Mike had to come home and dismantle  the door knob. 

I can hear my heart beep. 

- Dallin

Me: everyone is eating and no one is complaining!

Weston: I'm complaining in my head. 

Me: I'll take it!

Dallin: Will you play trains with me? Here, you be the helicopter. 

Me: *makes helicopter noise*

Dallin: (looks disappointed) No mom, like this: tick tick tick tick. 

Me: chika chika chika chicka 

Dallin: chick chick chick chick

Me: ticka ticka ticka ticka 

Dallin:  toka toka toka toka

I don't think we ever agreed in what sound helicopters make. 

Weston: when I'm a dad I'm going to drive a blue convertible! 

Dallin: when I'm a dad I'm going to drive a helicopter. And a boat. 

Weston: I need a sentence with the word "many". Me: "I ate too many pieces of pizza". Weston: There is NO such thing as eating too much pizza!!!