This morning on the way to school Levi says “hey mom, did you know that the majority of accidents happen in the kitchen?”

Me: ok that makes sense, lots of sharp…

Levi: But we still have to eat them. 

Savage.

 Father’s Day 2020:

Alright so we just got home from our trip to see lighthouses on the outer banks. We struggled with drinking enough water because the tap water out there is bleh and with Covid we didn't have access to many bathrooms. So we didn't want to drink the gross water and we didn't want to stop and pee every 30 minutes. Anyway, today the boys have discovered that they are pretty backed up. Lots of crying on the toilet. Keep in mind that we are living in a 1-bathroom basement apartment. So child 1 is in a lot of pain so I offer him a suppository. I explained how it works and how to uh, insert it and left. I checked back in a couple of minutes and he is on the floor surrounded with wads of toilet paper and asked me to help with insertion. So due to the fact that it's Father's Day and I'm the mom, I did the inserting. Meanwhile, child #2 is now fussing. So I've got one kid with his pants around his ankles lying on the floor and the other on the toilet making no progress. So I go get suppository number 2. Now I have child one on the toilet hoping to poo and the second child with his pants around his ankles and his butt in the air waiting for a suppository. So Now I have 2 children with laxatives in their butts, yelling at each other to get off the toilet because they both need to go to the bathroom but there is still only 1 toilet. 

 Today at the Bushman's, the girls start barking at Qibli. 

Fran: Stop that! You don't even speak dog!

Levi: yeah! What if you say something insulting!?

Near us in sacrament meeting, a sister started using sign language and translating the meeting for another person. I pointed her out to Levi and his eye widened excitedly and says, "She's doing sign language!!" I said yes, what does that mean about the people she is signing to?

Levi: they are... DUMB!!! 

No! Deaf!! Levi DEAF!!!🤦‍♀️

 Why are women always the fat ones?

No offense mom. 

-Dallin

 Playing assassin at a birthday party and someone winks at Levi so he has to died. He dramatically falls to the ground proclaiming “Noooooooooooo! I promised my mother grandchildren”!

 Levi, in the pool, says to another boy learning to swim: TRUST THE LAWS OF NATURE!!

Me: Alright! Breakfast is made, lunches are made, snacks are packed! Mama is on a roll!

Levi: on a roll off a cliff! 

🤨

 At a restaurant-

Levi: How come those people get juice and I have to have water?!?

Me: Their mom must love them more than I love you. 

Levi: THERE CAN NEVER BE MORE LOVE BETWEEN YOU AND ME!! 

 2009:

I took Weston with me to the doctor this morning. When he heard the baby's heart beat he said "CHOO CHOO TRAIN!"

 Me: Who wants the first French toast?!?

Dallin: ME!! Unless Levi wants it. 

Weston wakes up in the morning, comes to the kitchen and says in a happy, high-pitched voice, “Hello Kitty! You’re so snuggly! Good morning!” 

Me: Good morning Weston!

Weston: *grunt*

 Levi to Dallin playing a computer game: Would you not do that so I don’t get jealous?

Waffles snuck out of the house tonight. He opened the garage door and caught another rabbit and brought him back in the house. Mike got some gloves to catch the dead rabbit and when the cat dropped it, it turns out he was ALIVE! The rabbit went spazzing around the office knocking everything over. Mike and Waffles were both trying to catch the rabbit going crazy around the office. At one point, both the cat and the bunny are pinned in the corner staring down Mike. Mike finally caught the bunny and set him free.