Me: Good morning sweetheart. Do you want me to make you something special for breakfast before practice?

Dallin: How many times do I have to tell you?? I DON'T EAT BEFORE WRESTLING PRACTICE!

   

Levi: If our species was the dude from donkey Kong, what do you think we’d hear at crowded events?

Me: I’m pretty sure all those words were in English, but my brain has no idea what you just said. 

Me: I love that bumper sticker. “Tell your dog I said hi”. We should get you one for you that says, “Tell your cat I said pspspsps”. 

Weston: I never say pspspsps. 

Me: Most people say that to cats. 

Weston: You don’t say it to cats. 

Me: Fine. We will get you a sticker that says “tell your cat I said Hello little floozywoozyfluffywuffykittywitty.”

Weston: yes! 

Or 

Weston: I need a birthday gift for my friend. 

Me: I got him a shirt that says, “Let’s have a moment of science” and it has beakers and science-y stuff on it. 

Weston: why is that funny?

Me: Because the original saying is, “let’s have a moment of silence”. It’s a pun. 

Weston: Okay but why would anyone want a shirt for a gift? 

Me: it’s not just a shirt. It’s a funny shirt. And when you wear it, people read it and smile because it’s funny. 

Weston: thats dumb.

Me: How about the shirt and his favorite candy?

Weston: Fine. 

 I’m lying in bed, high on pain pills, from having surgery this morning. I get a text from Dallin that says “I need new wrestling shoes before my wrestling meet tomorrow”.