Dallin: what do you want for your birthday?

Me: a back rub. 

Dallin: we already have a bathtub!

Dallin: I wish we were a pirate family. 

Weston: I wish we were a normal family. 

This experience just happened with dallin but it is no different from countless experiences with Weston. 

Dallin: Where is it?

Me: Right in front of you. 

Dallin: *looks to the left*

Me: In front of you. 

Dallin: Where?

Me: Crawl forward. 

Your hand is touching it!!!

Weston brought home some schoolwork. The directions were to add an adjective. 

First sentence:

I see a frog.

Weston's sentence:

I see a big frog. 

Second sentence:

The eagle is in the sky. 

Weston's sentence:

The 3 headed eagle is in the blue sky. 

Dallin, talking to himself in an imaginary phone:

Hello??

DANGIT!! 

No one's home. 

While decorating daddy's cake:

Me: I'm not sure if this is going to work...
Dallin: It's working! Work it, mama, work it!

I have such politely defiant children. 

Dad: please put your shoes away. 

Dallin: No, thank you.