I had a spectacular fall skiing with Dallin and Levi. I just layer there in a pile of skis, poles, and limbs. 

Dallin: YARD SALE!

Levi: Dead body report!

 At a ski resort and Dallin and Levi are playing in the snow on the balcony. 

Levi: I want to take this ski pole and use it as a javelin and throw it onto the other balcony!

Mike: Thank you for saying it and not doing it. 

Levi: Why would I DO that?!?

Mike: Have you met your brother, Dallin?

Kid (I can’t remember if it was Dallin or Levi): if there is such a thing as butt cheeks, is there such a thing as vagina cheeks? 

Me: *knocks on bathroom door* I win! I took a shower, shaved my legs, got dressed and you are still sitting on the floor of the bathroom playing with your penis. 

Child: *giggle* It’s fun! You should get one!!

 Levi: Mom, would you rather be breathed on by a dragon or farted on by a cow?

Me: Is the dragon nice?

Levi: No. 

Me: I guess I pick the cow. 

Levi: The cow isn’t nice either. 

 ”Mommy and Daddy are going on a date. Please behave yourselves.”

We leave the room for 30 seconds to say goodbye to Weston and when we come back, Levi is in the fridge holding a can of whipped cream.

 Levi 2020:

Levi: A girl at school said that the tooth fairy turns our baby teeth into stars. 

Me: I thought she sold them to spray paint companies. 

Levi: huh?? 

Me: Go shake a can of spray paint and tell me what you hear. 

Levi: I think she turns them into a giant tooth monster!

Me: Will you please draw me a picture of the giant tooth monster?