Dallin: Is stupid the magic word?

Putting shoes on Levi has the same effect as putting tape on a cat's paw. 

They will walk funny and stop at nothing to get it off. 

Mom: Weston, what should we make for dessert tonight?
Weston: Um, brownies, cookies or angel food cake.
Mom: I have this yellow cake mix, we could make it with chocolate frosting.
Weston: Brownies, cookies or angel food cake.
Mom: I don't have any angel food cake.
Weston: Then brownies or cookies.
Mom: I don't like brownies.
Weston: Then cookies.
Mom: But I want to make up this yellow cake mix.
Weston: THEN WHY DID YOU ASK ME?!?!?!
Mom: (laughing at how ridiculous I sound) I'm just trying to get you ready for marriage!

Weston: what are you cooking?

Me: I'm making homemade baby food. 

Weston: Good job saving money so we can go on that trip!!!

While scrubbing the floor around the toilet in the boys bathroom all I can think is, "Have BOYS, they said! Boys are so FUN!"

Just caught the 13 month old trying to crawl into the trash can. Upright. He was just scaling up the side like Spider-Man. What was he planning once he reached his destination?

Weston: once upon a time there was a snowman who went to play basketball, but he forgot his helmit and he got hit in the nose with a baseball. 

I blame his father for the lack of sports education.