Mom vs. Dishes

The dish crisis has reached a new low.  


This morning I ate my oatmeal with a baby spoon and stirred my chocolate milk with a knife. 

W vs. nature

W:  Where does Jello grow?

W vs. Make up

W: Mama, When I grow up to be a girl, can I put on make up?

Mom vs. Dinner

Dinner Tonight:
Shrimp Ceaser salad with homemade bread sticks. 


Now, what am I going to feed the kids???

W vs. movie lines

Actual line from the movie 'Toy Story':
Zerg: SO! We meet again, Buzz Lightyear. FOR THE LAST TIME!!!


Weston's interpretation:
Zerg: SO! Dee deet aden, Buzz Wightyear. OR WAST TIME!!!!!

Daddy vs. patience

After being home with the kids most of the day, Mike says to me, "I am just about all out of patience". 


Welcome to my world. 

Dad vs. D

I shouldn't laugh, but D is chucking his dinner at Mike.  Literally chucking his food.  Mike's shirt is covered in dinner. 

Mom vs.Things where they don't belong

Why is there a piece of pizza in the dishwasher??

Mom vs. Logic

W: (Screaming sob over and over) I want my ____________! (I don't even remember what it was.)


Mom:  Well, I want you to stop screaming so I guess we are even.

Mom vs. the jungle upstairs

The boys are in bed. 


W has his Curious George doll and there are monkey sounds comings from his room. 
D has an elephant in his crib and we can hear loud BRRRRROOOOOOOs coming from his room. 


It's a jungle up there. 

Mom vs. the dramatic *sigh*

I am not loving watching my parenting being mirrored back at me by my son.  The yelling was one thing, but now W has started giving a dramatic *sigh* when he doesn't like something.  


*sigh*

Mom vs. the camera cord

I wonder why my camera cord won't work??  Maybe it has something to do with the BITE MARKS in the cord!!!

Laundry vs. the extra clean diaper

D put a diaper into the laundry.  
We didn't notice until it was time to fold. 

Mom vs. Curious W

Setting: Getting into the van after picking up W from preschool.


W: So mama, what did you do while I was a school today?

Mom vs. The Pill

The line at the Pharmacy was amused when W asked, "Why do you need medicine, mama?".  
I replied, "To make sure I don't have any more babies". 

D vs. The Trash Can

D has discovered the trash can.  If clean diapers are the worst of what he throws away (I have fished out several) I will consider myself lucky.  I still run my blender with no lid and a paper towel over the top thanks to W's love affair with the trash can.

Mom vs. The Laundry

So, it turns out, I'm not doing more laundry than usual. Time is just flying by so fast that it feels like I just did the laundry all the time. 

W vs. Say What?

Mom: W, What comes after 5?


W: Wednesday?

W vs. Thanksgiving Prayer

Setting: Family prayer on Thanksgiving.


W:  Heavenwy Fadder, Fank you today was Thanksgiving.  Fank you for the lovely dinner....


Mommy melted. :)

Mom vs. Things where they don't belong

Why is the Jello in the toy box?

W vs. The Nightmare

W:  Mama, I had a bad dream.


Mom:  W, You haven't gone to sleep yet. 

W vs. D

Overheard:

W to D:  D! Go *up* the stairs, all the way to the top. 

(Then W runs as fast as he can down to the basement)

Mom vs. The New Hair Style

I tied my hair back into "the usual" today. But then I added a flower clip. 

Look at me! I'm so put-together!

W vs. His Shirt

Setting: Sitting at the dinner table. W is wiping his hands off on his shirt.

Mom: W, would you like me to get you a napkin?
W: No fanks, I'll just use my shirt. 

Mom vs. The Bad Mood

You know when you are in a bad mood you tend to do things a little more harsh than usual and with a little less thought.  Well, I was taking out the upstairs bathroom trash the other day. I tied the bag in a knot and decided to toss it down the stairs where I would pick it up later and take it the rest of the way to the outside trash can.  Unfortunately, my combination of bad mood, harshness and lack of thought came back to bite me just as the bag left my hand and began bouncing down the steps. Only then did I think, "I should have tied that in a double knot".

And there I stood, helpless, watching the bag of bathroom trash break open and tumble down the stairs.

D vs. Dinner

When I sat down to dinner tonight I discovered that D had climbed up on the table and eaten every last black olive off my pizza. 

Mom vs. The Messy House

I need to clean the house from middle to bottom. 
No one ever sees the top floor anyway...

Mom vs. The Favorite Child

Whenever I sing, D smiles and starts to dance. W, on the other hand, yells for me to stop.  Guess who's on his way to being mom's favorite?

D vs. The Dining Room Table

D must have grown a centimeter last night.  He can no longer walk under the dining room table without ducking. He keeps trying, though.

W vs. The Fire Trucks

W cried when the fire trucks came to his school to teach about fire safety. Probably because the last time the fire trucks came, he was in trouble for pulling the alarm. 

Mom vs. Yelling

Setting: Getting breakfast ready.  D is looking for trouble in the refrigerator.


Mom: D! Get out of the refrigerator!!!
W: D!!!!!
Mom: W, Don't yell... That's my job.