This morning on the way to school Levi says “hey mom, did you know that the majority of accidents happen in the kitchen?”

Me: ok that makes sense, lots of sharp…

Levi: But we still have to eat them. 

Savage.

 Father’s Day 2020:

Alright so we just got home from our trip to see lighthouses on the outer banks. We struggled with drinking enough water because the tap water out there is bleh and with Covid we didn't have access to many bathrooms. So we didn't want to drink the gross water and we didn't want to stop and pee every 30 minutes. Anyway, today the boys have discovered that they are pretty backed up. Lots of crying on the toilet. Keep in mind that we are living in a 1-bathroom basement apartment. So child 1 is in a lot of pain so I offer him a suppository. I explained how it works and how to uh, insert it and left. I checked back in a couple of minutes and he is on the floor surrounded with wads of toilet paper and asked me to help with insertion. So due to the fact that it's Father's Day and I'm the mom, I did the inserting. Meanwhile, child #2 is now fussing. So I've got one kid with his pants around his ankles lying on the floor and the other on the toilet making no progress. So I go get suppository number 2. Now I have child one on the toilet hoping to poo and the second child with his pants around his ankles and his butt in the air waiting for a suppository. So Now I have 2 children with laxatives in their butts, yelling at each other to get off the toilet because they both need to go to the bathroom but there is still only 1 toilet.