Mom: Weston, do you want gold, Frankincense and Myrrh for Christmas?
Weston: Um, how about just gold?

Did not see that coming. :o)

I don't know where, but Dallin has learned the letter "B".  Whenever he spots one he calls out "WEDDER B! WEDDER B! On signs in the grocery store, in books, etc. That's the only letter he knows.

While wrestling with daddy Weston calls out, "RELEASE THE CHILD!!!"

Weston's Kindergarten teacher says that Weston has an advanced vocabulary.  This was apparent when he told me that my Christmas Tree was "spectacular".

Weston: Mama, whenever I hear the ice cream truck I just remember "Oh yeah, I want some ice cream".

Weston vs. Words

Weston at the dinner table: Mama, what is Cholesterol? 

Weston in the car: Mama, what does "suffering" mean?

Weston: Mama, what does "lurch" mean?

Mom: uuuh, could you use it in a sentence?

Weston: Her stomach lurched.

Driving Mr. Weston

I came up behind a very slow driver on a 2 lane road the other day.
Weston: Why are we going so slow?
Me: Because the car in front of us is going slow.
Weston: Well, you should just honk your horn at him!
Dad: No, Weston.
Me: Honestly daddy, I don't know where he gets it from. (silently chuckling)
Weston: Well, how about if you just drive around him?
Dad: No, Weston.
Me: (Not so silently chuckling) I REALLY don't know where he gets it from....

I decided to change it up a bit and wear a casual skirt one day.  Before we left the house to run errands Weston says to me, "Mama, I think the people at the library will think you are pretty."

Me: Weston, Whose birthday do we celebrate at Christmas?
Weston: Santa?
Me: No.
Weston: Aunt Lauri?
Me: No.
Weston: Dr. Suess?
Me: Oh dear....

How to use the printer via Dallin

Step 1: Open printer.
Step 2: Remove bracelet, sandwich tie, and DVD.
Step 3: Print.

Weston vs. the weather

Weston: Will you call the weather and make it rain tomorrow?

Weston vs. dinner guest

We had friends over for dinner last night.  As we ate our brownies ala mode for dessert, Weston asked Maribeth (the mom) if he could eat the chocolate chips out of her ice cream.

I just found a flip flop in the sink.

Weston vs. Library books

Weston's kindergarten class went to the library last week and he came home with a book called "Gila Monsters Meet You at the Airport".  It was a really cute book about a boy moving from New York to "the West".  Yesterday was library day again and he brought home a different book. Then last night we find him sobbing at the top of the stairs because he doesn't like his new library book and wants his "gila monster" book back.

Dallin vs. shapes

Conversation I never knew I'd have with my 2 year old:
Dallin: (pointing at the pattern on the TJMaxx shopping cart) Octagon?
Me: (counting sides) actually honey that's a hexagon.
Dallin: hex...agon?

Weston to the rescue

Conversation about the impending hurricane.
Mom: We should have a hurricane party. We can get our flashlight and lanterns and eat all the ice cream.
Weston: Right, because if the power goes out all the ice cream will melt.  Grandpa John said, "if a hurricane comes to Florida we would have to rescue the ice cream". Just like Diego rescues the animals we will rescue the ice cream.

Weston vs. class clown

We were talking to Weston about what Kindergarten is going to be like.
Me: At the beginning of class your teacher will call role.  When she says "Weston", you raise your and and say "here".
Dad: or you could raise your hand and say "present".
Weston: or I could raise my hand and say "Christmas".  hahahahahaha

He's all ready to be the class clown.

D vs. imagination

We said the dinner prayer and began to eat. Only problem, we had put the boys' dinner in the refrigerator so it would cool off.  Mike joked with the boys who had no food in front of them to "eat your dinner".  Weston fussed that he had no dinner.  We looked over at Dallin who, with a big smile, scooped up a handful of nothing on his tray and stuffed it into his mouth.

Dallin

Dallin sobbing in the back seat:
Maaamaaamaaaamaaaaaa
Dallin sees a bus:
BUS!!!!
Maaaamaaamaaaamaaamaaaa.....

The language of Weston

Occasionally, when you ask Weston a question he responds, "Let my see" (As opposed to "let me see").
I love it so much, I can't bring myself to correct him.  :)

Weston's first joke (too sweet not to post)

Weston: What did the baby cheese say to the daddy cheese?
Me: What?
Weston: "I love you daddy."

W vs. the truth

Me: Weston who got into my purse and took these cough drops?
W: Humm... I think it was Dallin.
Me: No, Dallin was in his crib.
W: Hummm.... I think it was Daddy.
Me: No, Daddy was in bed.  Who took these cough drops??
W: I think it was this bouncy ball. It was bouncing all over the room and it came and bounced into your purse and opened the cough drops.

I look to Mike for support but he is quietly in hysterics behind Weston's back.

D vs. strong language

Dallin's new favorite word is "shirt".  However, he doesn't pronounce the 'r'.

It makes doing laundry a little more fun, it makes getting him dressed interesting, but it does make me a little uneasy while walking through a department store with him pointing and saying "shi_t, shi_t, shi_t".

D vs. new words

Dallin has been talking a lot lately.  He knows more words than I can count.  But of them all, my favorite words are "um" and "oh".
If you ask Dallin a question he responds with "ummmmmmmmm", and if you explain something to him he will answer you with "oh".

D

Previously, this blog has been full of anecdotes mostly of what funny new thing Weston has said.  Now that Dallin is learning to talk, it should be more even between the to of them.
For example, today Dallin was left at the table eating breakfast while I took a shower.  As I was walking down the stairs to join him I heard him say, "mess?".  Sure enough, he had dumped the box of cereal all over the table and was driving toy cars through it.

W vs. chocolate ice cream

We took Weston to Cold Stone for the first time tonight. 

Me: You can pick any kind of ice cream you want.
Weston: CHOCOLATE!
Me: They have 2 different kinds of chocolate, (regular and ghirardelli) which one do you want?
Weston: This one (pointing to the darker ghirardelli chocolate. 

That's my boy!

W vs. Brownies

We had brownies for dessert the other night.  Weston asked for another and I told him no.  I should have known that when he happily went away and played quietly that something was up. 

W vs. echo

Me: (finishing a glass of OJ) aaahh.
W: (from the other room) aaahh.
Me: I'm gonna get Weston and tickle him.
W: I'm gonna get Weston and tickle him.
Me: Are you copying me?
W: Are you copying me?
Me: I'm gonna get you!
W: No you're not, I'm too fast!

W vs. new toy camera

Overheard:

Weston: (holding up his new camera) Dallin, say "cheeeeese".
Dallin: CHEEEEEEEEESE.
Weston: (takes picture, examines it) That was a GOOD one!

W vs. a big new house

W: Mama, I want our next house to be BIG!
Mama: Who's going to clean it?
W: Ummm... Daddy.

W&D vs. Portraits

I took the boys to get their 2 and 5 year old pictures today.  The photographer tried to make them smile by spitting her tongue out at them.  She didn't realize that spitting is one of their favorite activities.  So she got a nice picture of my 2 sweet boys spitting at the camera.
No, I didn't purchase it.

W vs. deep thoughts

While driving, W is looking out the window and wonders-

W: How do the clouds stay up?
Me: uuuuuhh.....
W: Why don't they fall down?
Me: uuuuuuhhh....
W: Maybe they are glued to the sky.

W vs. bad guys

Weston:
Mama, Nice guys need to run over bad guys.  Because they are bad.  We need to skin their knees, and hurt their cheeks, and hurt their legs....

W and the translation

W: Mama, whenever I go poo poo...
Translation: When I sit on the potty for a long time...

W: ...my feet get really heavy!
Translation: ...my feet fall asleep.

W vs. a failure to communicate

W was with me while I was talking to a pregnant friend at church.  She told me that the baby likes to sleep all day and stay awake all night.  I laughed and said "she's nocturnal".

Then W relayed the story to Dad in the car on the way home.  He said that the baby likes to sleep all day and stay awake all night, "like a turtle".

Get it? I said "nocturnal", W heard "a turtle".

W vs. play dough

Overheard from W while playing with his play dough:

W: *mean voice* I'm not a nice guy, that's why I made a mess!

W vs. Daddy

Daddy is working in the basement, but I hear shrieks of giggles coming from W being tickled.  Finally I hear an exhausted W say, "It's time for you to get back to work, daddy".

W vs. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!

This is going to be hard to explain:

W was sitting at the table rambling on and on.  The last thing he says is, "Mama makes yummy dinners" and then a fly flew by right in front of his face.  His reaction to the fly was a drawn out, high pitched, "WHAAAAAAT!"
So, put that all together, and this is what I hear from the kitchen:
"Mama makes yummy dinners! WHAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!"

Mom vs. things where they don't belong

found a potato under the couch...

W vs. singing in church

While the other kids sang to their mothers in church on Mother's Day, mine made faces at me. :)

Mom vs. Bed time

My nightly routine:

Brush teeth
Take out contacts
Check to make sure D is still wearing his PJs
Go to bed.

D vs. Baby teeth

Setting: At the playground.  D is playing on a scary part way above his skill level. 

Me: I don't like him playing on that.

Mike: It's okay, they're only his baby teeth. 

W vs. phone calls

W is dialing numbers on the telephone

Grandma: Who are you calling?
W: Australia.

D vs. NO!

D must know he will be turning 2 soon. I heard him in his bedroom practicing to say, "nnnnNO!  nnnnNO!"

D comes running across the room, trips, falls, and starts pulling himself along the ground with his hands.

W vs. babysitting

We are all getting ready to go out for the evening and I jokingly said something about leaving Weston home alone.
W: BUT SOMEBODY'S GOTTA STAY HERE AND WATCH ME!!!!

Mom vs. Bed time

Mom's bedtime routine:  Brush teeth, take out contacts, check to make sure Dallin is still wearing his pajamas....

D vs. prayer

We took a family walk down to the lake.  Randomly, D gets on his knees and folds his arms.  We think its funny and adorable, but W thinks it's hysterical. He is laughing so hard he can barely breathe.  Mike says to W, "Help D pray".
So W begins to pray for D:
(barely able to speak from all the laughing)
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for this GREAT day at the lake! In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

W vs. bathroom habits

While running to the bathroom:

W: I gotta go poo poo and pee pee.

Me: W, you don't have to tell me that. Just go!

W: Yes, I do. 

W vs. Language part 2

Me: W, try this jelly bean. It tastes like lemonade.
W: OH MY GOSH! IT DOES!!!

Mom vs. Jackets

At the beginning of jacket wearing season, W would have a fit trying to do his own zipper.  I would always try to do it for him if we were in a hurry but he hated that. Finally he learned to do it himself. Then D comes along and, having seen his brother throw fits about doing it by himself, also wants to do it by himself.  This is impossible for a one year-old!  Then, W decided he can no longer zip his own jacket and wants me to do it for him.

So now I have a 4 year old who can zip his jacket and won't, and a 1 year old who can't zip his jacket and gets mad when I try to do it. 

W vs. funny words

W's new favorite word: Whatsinwhosin?  It's interchangeable with "What the..?" and "Thingy".

D vs. sign language

Tonight at dinner I handed D a burrito.  He promptly handed it back to me and did the sign for "hot".

W vs the scale

W stepped on the scale this morning:  "Mama, how much do I cost?"

W vs. scary movies

Mom: W, do you want to watch the "Leap Frog: Numbers Ahoy!" movie?

W: No, that's just a scary pirate movie. 

W vs. money

W: Mama, will you go to the bank and buy me some money because I don't have any for my wallet.

W vs. Lanugage

While playing, W yelled, "DANGIT"!

Mike and I just smiled at each other. Considering my outburst while driving last week, we are lucky that's all he said...

D vs. breakfast

D just dumped his bowl of dry cereal onto the floor.  Then he went and pointed at the vacuum.
Thanks, D. I'll get right on that.

D vs. breakfast

Me: D, don't put your breakfast bar on the floor where someone can step on it. Come over he and put it on the table. 

D comes running back to where he dropped his food and stomps on it. 

Mom vs. the toy box

I think I should rename this blog to "the adventures of things I find in the toy box".

Today's post would be: My curling iron.

Mom vs. Left and Right

I wish I had someone other than myself to blame for this:

W vs. the poo poo

Overheard from the bathroom:

W: I just did one poo poo so I only need one toilet paper.


Mom: Agh! No, W! That's not how it works!

W vs. late for the party

We are late for a birthday party and W is driving me crazy. I tell him to put on his shoes and in stead he takes off his jacket. I say 'no, put your jacket back on' and he goes for his shoes.  After a while of this I say, 'forget it! Just stay home with daddy' and I walk out the door with D.  I hear daddy inside finish helping him with his jacket and tell him to go get in the van.  As I am strapping him in I look down and say, 'W! Where is your other shoe!?!?!'
W: Daddy said go get in the van.

Mom vs. Motherhood

I just stepped over a waffle on the kitchen floor.  I didn't think twice about it.

W vs. late night cravings

Driving home tonight we passed a Dairy Queen.

W: OH! I forgot to have ice cream today!!

D vs. Gravity

D,  You can either be curious or clumsy. Not both.

W vs. book titles

W: Where's the book about 'mac n cheese'?
Me: What????
W: The book about 'mac n cheese'!
Me: What book about 'Macaroni and Cheese'?????
W: No, 'Mac n cheese'!
Me: *thinking really hard* Do you mean "Green Eggs and Ham"????
Weston: YES!

W vs. the language of D

Driving in the car:
D is babbling on and on in his car seat.
W turns to him and says, "D! What are you talking about???"

W vs. the Truth

Me: W, Tell. Mommy. The. Truth.

W: Truth.

W vs. more why questions

W: Mama, why is this the way to the doctor's office?
Me: That's right, W. This is the way to the doctor's office.
W: No, mama, WHY is this the way to the doctor's office?

W vs. subway

Probably 6 months ago we went to a Subway near our house.  Ever since then, when we pass that Subway, W calls out "There's the Subway that we went"!  And we MUST respond with "Yes, W, That's the Subway that we went" or he will start yelling "THERE'S THE SUBWAY THAT WE WENT!!!" until he is validated.

D vs. the bathroom

2 things....

D LOVES to follow us into the bathroom.  It's near impossible to sneak in without him noticing.  I was successful in getting in without him the other day, but not without him noticing. He begins his dejected cry outside the door and then I hear W say, "It's okay D, I'll open the door for you".  *sigh*


Today I didn't make it in without him. At one point I motion for him to go out the door and said, "SHOO!" He immediately drops to his feet and points at his shoe. Then he points to my bare foot, runs out of the bathroom and brings me back my shoe.

W vs. watching TV

I just want to watch some TV because it makes my brain smarter.

D vs. His own sign language

D was sitting on my bed recently and something on my dresser caught his eye.  He points to the dresser and make his sound that means "I want that".  I couldn't decipher exactly what it was that he wanted so I started guessing, picking up items and saying "this?".  no no no  So finally Dallin decided to make up his own sign language.  He opens on hand flat and using the pointer finger of his other hand points to the center of his open hand.  Which could only mean he wanted lotion, of course!  I squirted some lotion into the palm of his hand and he was happy!

W vs. Sour Cream

I was getting everything ready for dinner and starting to put things out on the table, starting with the sour cream. I walk back into the kitchen and all the sudden we hear coughing and choking sounds from the dining room.  We run back over to find W gagging and holding the spoon that was dipped into the sour cream.  

W vs. Mama

W: That girl calls her Mama, "Mommy". 

W vs. conversations with internal organs

W is sipping his hot chocolate and Mike hears him whisper something to himself.  


Mike: What did you say, W?
W: I was just telling my tummy that it is called hot chocolate.

Mom vs. What??

W: Why does orange juice burn eggs?
Mom: WHAT??
W: Why does orange juice burn eggs?
Mom: W, I have no idea what you are talking about.  Orange juice does not burn eggs!
W: YES IT DOES!!

D vs. saving his cookie

I gave D a piece of a cookie.  When W spotted it he dropped to his knees and crawled after D saying "omm omm" and trying to bite his cookie.  
D ran off shrieking with glee. 

W vs. Things that suck

W: Does the vacuum suck, mama?




Me: .....  ......yes. 

W vs. parenting

And then sometimes I DO like having my parenting mirrored back to me.  Recently, W has been complementing me on the strangest things.

We were making cookies and as I dropped spoonfuls of cookie dough on the cookie sheet W says "Good job, mama!"

As I was cooking dinner the other night W came running through the kitchen and paused to say, "Good job turning on those lights, mama".  (I assume he was talking about the lights under the microwave.)

and when he saw his dinner plate:
"Thank you for giving me a roll, mama. "

Dad vs. Comprehension

W threw a tantrum in church on Sunday when he dropped his packet of fruit snacks. Mike quickly picked them up and put them back in the bag and W calmed down.  
Mike's response to W: (hushed for church) Next time don't jump to conclusions!
Me to Mike: (hushed for church) Good job keeping it on a 3 year-old level. 

D vs. dinner

D got out of his high chair, summoned me out of my dinner chair and marched into the kitchen to point up at the toaster.  Which means, of course, he wants a waffle.  I said, "No, go eat your dinner".  


There was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.  

D vs. peas

D has a pile of peas on his tray that he is not eating.  Dad scoops up a bite on his fork and puts it up to D's mouth.  D smacks the fork and the peas go flying.  Dad scoops up another bite of peas and puts it up to D's mouth.  D smacks the fork and the peas go flying.  


Someone is not learning his lesson here and it's not D. 

mom vs. a complement

I got the nicest complement from my husband. Someone saw his desktop family picture and said "your wife is pretty". Mike said, "Thanks! She's funny, too!" 

W vs. questions

Overheard:


W to Daddy:  Daddy, why does the dinner on tomorrow???


Me: (chuckle) Yeah Daddy, WHY???


Dad: Because.... when you put a bean in water it will start to sprout.  Then you can plant it and grow a bean stalk. 

D vs. ketchup

D is dipping his hand in his ketchup and rubbing it on his hands like it is lotion. 

W vs. preschool

W's preschool teacher:  I finally figured out how to get W to stop eating crayons. I only give him markers. 

W vs. the snack

Me: What is this white stuff all over the table???
Weston: (not looking up from his maze book) It's parmesan cheese. 
Me: So.... while mommy and daddy where taking a nap, you had parmesan cheese for a snack?
Weston: (still not looking up from his book) Yes. 

D vs. sippy cups

Why aren't my "spill-proof" cups "D" proof??